Heyy (:
so, this past month has been pretty crazy, if you couldn't tell... no computer, crazy field trips, awesome party's, random phone calls, Shakespeare, emails, and LOTS of drama....
today I'm focusing on the drama part... so, I'm LDS, or 'Mormon' and as part of that I've chosen to follow the guidelines the prophets and apostles have given us in the pamphlet For the Strength of Youth, part of which state that we shouldn't be dating till we are sixteen, and even then we should go on group and/or casual dates. In my family, we don't even get the option of casual dates until we are ready to get married, but we can do group dates if we choose when we are sixteen (:
So, the reason I'm bringing this up is because lately there has been a lot of 'drama' involving guys going on in my life... I'm not going to go into details because they aren't mine, but suffice it to say that one of my friends 'likes' another one of my friends... and she decided to... approach... him about it in the form of a letter-poem thingy... and... well, lets just say that it was really awkward.
So, my best friend and I were discussing this and the blog post our friends mother made about it over the phone one night, and it made me start thinking about the crushes and general 'sillyness' (as sis. keppner says ;) that go on in our lives...
Like most teenage girls, I've had crushes on guys, and still have quite a few now *blush* (; but I've never been like most girls, wanting to know if the guy they like likes them back, or flirting constantly with cute guys and all of that... I think that I've never really wanted to know if the guy I liked liked me back mostly because the strongest crushes I've had were for fictional characters... XD and then I was always really, really shy, and so the idea of actually going up to someone and asking them if they liked me was utterly terrifying.
And the whole flirting thing... well, that has always seemed really stupid to me... I remember when I was little (er... :P), laughing with my friends when the older boys and girls tried to impress each other, and thinking "that's so stupid! why would you try and be someone else to impress boys and/or girls? If someone liked me I would want it to be because they liked ME, not because they liked someone else I was pretending to be... because then they wouldn't be liking me, they would be liking that somebody else." And that's still pretty much what I think (:
However, most girls, and a lot of my friends, do want people to like them. I've noticed that a lot, that most people really care about what other people think about them, and are always trying to be something different to make people like them. One of my cousins is kind of like that, where she really cares what the people think of her, and yet she try's to act tough, like she doesn't actually care about what they think of her. So many of my friends are insecure, trying to find out who they are and what they should do with their lives, and the things they see and hear in school and in their everyday lives are making a huge influence on them, and not always for the better...
I guess what I've been trying to say through this whole long blog post is that I don't really see why people would willingly put themselves through all this drama and heartache, and for what? acceptance?
*sigh*
I guess it's just hard for me to understand all this because I know who I am. I know that I am a precious daughter of God, and that he loves me, and so I don't really care what other people think of me, because in the end it really doesn't matter. I mean, yes, there are some people who I admire and who's opinions matter to me, but most people's opinions just really don't matter to me. So it's a bit difficult for me to understand all these people who don't know what I know, and who crave that 'acceptance' that comes from relationships.
Going back and reading through this, it sounds supspciously like a better writen version of my journal...
Well, since my computer is broken and I can no longer write in my journal, this is going to have to sufice as the dumping place for my thoughs. thanks for suffering through this! I think I understand all of this a little bit better now, hopefully this helped you as much as it did me, and maybe even a little bit more. (;
SMILE PPL! ~Lizzy (:
I've thought about that a lot, and I can argue both points. I don't agree with completely changing yourself to please someone, because they should like you for who you are, but I can also see trying to hide some of your faults.
ReplyDeleteI could never walk up to a guy and ask him if he liked me, too. I think that would be awkward for both parties. What if he didn't like you back, and he didn't want to disappoint you?
Same here! Most of my strongest crushes have been for fictional characters. Or I know the guy so little that he might as well be a fictional character.
One problem I have is I would never know if I was flirting with a guy or if he was flirting with me. I just don't pick up on things like that. Maybe it's because I don't hang around guys much.
I can uderstand trying to act tough like that. Sometimes I really am curious about if a guy likes me, but I really try to pretend I don't care. And at other times I genuinely don't care.
I agree that people shouldn't put themselves through heartache for acceptance, but sometimes it can really hard if you don't feel accepted. And you don't know what their personal lives are like.
It definitely helps when you write things like this down. It help you sort it out. :)
I hope I didn't offend you by any of this. :) It's kind of a touchy subject and communication is better when you're face to face so you can see what people actually mean by their expressions and body language. In fact, body language and expressions are so important that that's why we have smiley faces, frowny faces, emoticons, and stuff like that for Internet communication. It's that essential. :)
haha ya. but for my, most of my faults are kinda obvious, so there's not much point ;P
ReplyDeletehaha ya!!! talk about awkward moments...
ya... that's the best kind of person to like tho... cuz they can b abything u want (x
haha ya... well i deffinatly don't try to flirt w/ guys, cuz i don't like it, but ya... i can sometimes tell, but it depens on how well i know the guy.
haha ya, i can too, but itz hard for me :P most of the time i really don't care, but even when i am i just don't mention it cuz itz o awkard... and i'm kinda a chicken :P
ya.... i get it, and at the same time i don't... idk itz comlicated :P i guess i just never really cared much if i wasn't accepted, cuz i like the ppl in my books sooo much better... XP
ya. itz the only way to really help me to understand it, so i do it alot... poor ppl reading my blogs! haha (;
no, itz k (: i like reading your comments, it makes me thing about stuff more (:
haha ya!!! it really is crazy how much we use it... but i'm glad we have the internet, cuz otherwise i wouldn't b able to talk to alot of my friends, like ever :P
anyways, thanks for enduring this... it did help me a lot (: